Posted in Asides on December 31, 2005 | No Comments »
After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has [...]
Posted in Oddities on December 30, 2005 | No Comments »
Posted in Asides on December 29, 2005 | No Comments »
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband [...]
Posted in Asides on December 28, 2005 | No Comments »
Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son after years of hoping. The boy immediately became the apple of his father’s eye.
Just before his son’s sixth birthday, the Sultan said to him, “Son, I love you very much. Your birthday is coming soon. What would you like?”
His son replied, “Daddy, I [...]
Posted in Asides on December 27, 2005 | No Comments »
This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?”
“Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him [...]
Posted in Asides on December 26, 2005 | No Comments »
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!” “Heck,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of [...]
Posted in Asides on December 25, 2005 | No Comments »
Pa never had such compassion for the lazy or those who squandered their means and then never had enough for the necessities. But for those who were genuinely in need, his heart was as big as all outdoors. It was from him that I learned the greatest joy in life comes from giving, not from [...]
Posted in Asides on December 24, 2005 | No Comments »
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love [...]
Posted in Asides on December 23, 2005 | No Comments »
Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn’t wear boots; he didn’t like them and anyway he didn’t own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold. Bobby had been in his backyard [...]
Posted in Asides on December 22, 2005 | No Comments »
For My Democratic Friends:
“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion [...]
Posted in Asides on December 21, 2005 | No Comments »
Subject: Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employee
RE: Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon, in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional [...]
Posted in Asides on December 20, 2005 | 1 Comment »
Three years ago, a little boy and his grandmother came to see Santa at Mayfair Mall in Wisconsin. The child climbed up on his lap, holding a picture of a little girl. “Who is this?” asked Santa, smiling. “Your friend? Your sister?”
“Yes, Santa,” he replied. “My sister, Sarah, who is very sick,” he said sadly.
Santa glanced over at the grandmother [...]
