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Archive for December, 2005

SOUTH DAKOTA NEWS ITEM

WEATHER BULLETIN
Up here in the Northern Plains we just recovered from a Historic event — may I even say a “Weather Event” of “Biblical Proportions” — with a historic blizzard of up to 44″ inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists [...]

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THE LETTER

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all   right? When can I see him?”
The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”
Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t [...]

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WIRELESS SECURITY SYSTEM

How To install a wireless security system:
                                                                            
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men’s used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of “Guns and Ammo” magazine. Put a dog dish beside it…a really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front door that says [...]

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YOU LIVE IN

You live in ARIZONA when…
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to [...]

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POINTERS ON NUTRITION & DIET

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it. Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by [...]

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BIRTHDAY PRESENT

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price [...]

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A LESSON FROM CHARLES SCHULTZ

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss [...]

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ITALIAN GARDEN

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling [...]

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GRANDMA’S SANTA

I remember my first Christmas party with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: There is no Santa Claus, she jeered. Even dummies know that!
My grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled [...]

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January 2006

Dear brother Knights,
I apologize that you did not get my Christmas message in the monthly newsletter.  Given that January 1 is the feast of Mary the Mother of God, I would like to say a few things about Mary's importance and role in our lives.
A woman told our Lord, “Blessed is the womb that bore [...]

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SAINT NICHOLAS

December 6th
His name was Nicholas and he was born to a wealthy, elderly couple in what is now Turkey in the 3rd century AD. When his parents died, he inherited great wealth and gained a reputation for helping the poor. Reportedly, one night he threw gold in the window of a bankrupt merchant, who used [...]

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FIRST FIGHT

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. “Reverend,” she wailed, “John and I had a terrible fight!”
“Calm down, my child,” said the minister, “It’s not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!”
“I know, I know!” said Joanna. “But what am I going to do with [...]

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