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Archive for February, 2006

China and Taiwan split in 1949 after the Nationalists lost a civil war to the communists and fled to the island. China has ever since viewed the island as part of its territory.

It has vowed to reunify with Taiwan, by force if necessary, and has sited at least 700 ballistic missiles targeting the island.

Chen announced the decision to scrap the council and guidelines, both with a history of 15 years, on Monday and formally signed the papers to endorse it on Tuesday, despite repeated warnings from Beijing not to do so.

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THEY WALK AMONG US

 IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had
 a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request
 the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: “too many
 deer were being hit by cars” and he didn’t want them to cross there
 anymore.

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
 a taco.  She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.”
 He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
 airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
 your knowledge?”  To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how
 would I know?”  He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOT SIGHTING: The stop light on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to
 cross the street.  I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
 coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I
 explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.  Appalled,
 she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who
 was leaving the company due to “downsizing,” our manager commented
 cheerfully, “This is fun.  We should do this more often.”  Not a word was
 spoken.  We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
 stare.

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
 into itself and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system
 would not turn on.

 ______________________________________________________

 IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
 to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went
 to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
 unlock the driver’s side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I
 instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
 “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open!”  To which he replied,
 “I know!  I already got that side.”

 ______________________________________________________

 THEY WALK AMONG US…

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nightstalker.jpgIt is with great sadness that we announce the death of Darren McGavin at approximately 7:10 A.M. Pacific time today, Saturday 25, 2006.  Darren was just three months short of his 84th birthday.  While we suspect none of us can imagine a world without the beloved, feisty little red-head, it is time to reflect, give thanks for his life and hold in reverence his memory.  Darren is gone, but in many respects he will always be with us: as Carl Kolchak, fighting authority and battling monsters; the grumpy Old Man sending curses over Lake Michigan; as David Ross, the outsider, Grey Holden, captain of the Enterprise, the irascible detective Mike Hammer or any number of memorable guest star appearances, most notably as Joe Bascome on GUNSMOKE and as the washed-up old actor from “Distant Signals.” 

Please take a moment in your sadness to reflect upon all the ways Darren touched your lives, say a prayer and raise a glass to toast a career which spanned over fifty years and affected us all in ways too numerous to count. 

S. L. Kotar and J. E. Gessler      
GSFE@aol.com
http://www.darrenmcgavin.net/

I was a kid when I saw him in THE NIGHT STALKER, but it was a show I loved, not simply because it was scary, but because his character was always fearless against evil.  Years later I came to appreciate him again in THE CHRISTMAS STORY and laughed at his unintellible cursing and the leg-shaped lamp.  His wife, Kathie Browne passed away from cancer in 2003.  I remember her fondly on shows like STAR TREK and THE WILD WILD WEST.  As a boy I had an incredible crush on her.  It is nice to know that two of my favorite actors made a life together.  They will both be missed. 

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1237347038.jpgDON KNOTTS died of lung cancer on February 24 at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. He was 81 years old. 

He will long be remembered for his portrayal of Andy’s deputy, Barney in that idyllic town of Mayberry. 

He also did some great movies, including a favorite of mine, The Reluctant Astronaut.  Every kid could relate to his ambition and yet also know the fearfulness that he felt.

Andy Griffith said that “Don meant everything, Don made the show. I’ve lost a lifetime friend.”  Griffith visited his old friend in the hospital to say their goodbyes just before Knotts’ passing away.  

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ELECTRICITY POLE

The morale of this story:  Be sure not to antagonize someone with more
brain power and man power than you have.

 I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the
utility company starting to erect a pole in front of my house.  They were
going to position it directly in front of my picture window.  No way,
absolutely no way was I going to permit this.  I gulped down my last bit of
coffee and went directly to the crew supervisor and told him in no
uncertain terms that I was not going to permit his crew to put that stupid
electric pole directly in front of my picture window.  He took out a plat
map, a map for pole locations and a right of way document and explained
that it is the best location for it.  I told him it is not the best
location for me and when I came home from work that day I did not want to
find that pole in front of my window.  I told him I didn’t give a hoot
where he put it but not in front of my window.  I felt pretty smug as I
drove off to work because I felt I got my point across.  I know darn well
they are afraid to put it there now…. Ah….. the feeling of
power…………at least until I got home.

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CHENEY IN THE NEWS

Kingsville Dispatch - “Sheriff Fines Cheney $100 For Only Wounding Lawyer”

National Review Online – “Red States Poll Shows Cheney Shooting Was Justifiable”

Dallas Morning News – “Shot Came From Grassy Knoll”

Austin Statesman – “Cheney Says Victim’s Quail Call Was Best He Ever Heard”

Washington Post – “Cheney Prevents Hunting Party From Field Dressing Shooting Victim”

The Nation – “Cheney Drove Shooting Victim to Hospital Tied to The Hood of His Car”

San Antonio Express/News – “Sneaky Lawyer Tactics Don’t Work On Cheney”

Houston Chronicle – “Personal Injury Lawyers Hold Candlelight Vigil Outside Cheney Victim’s Hospital”

Wyoming Tribune Eagle – “Cheney Friends Decline Fall Duck Hunting Invitation”

La Raza – “Cheney Shooting Victim Gets Emergency Room Priority Over Illegal Aliens”

Vegan News – “Cheney Shooting Victim Converts To Vegetarian In Hospital”

NRA American Rifleman – “Witnesses Claim Cheney Only Feathered Lawyer”

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Satan’s Turtle

4303003.jpgMICHIGANTOWN, Ind. — The shell of Lucky, a turtle, is shown. Dora's pet shop owners Marsha and Bryan Dora say the likeness of Satan emerged on Lucky's shell following an Oct. 13, 2004 fire in downtown Frankfort, Ind. The fire destroyed the pet store as well as an entire city block. Lucky was the only animal that survived the pet shop fire. The Doras plan to market a DVD about their pet shop and Lucky on eBay. (03/17/05 AP photo)

There you have it folks!  The devil is partial to turtles!  It is no wonder, though.  The serious sinner is a like a turtle, tarrying when the kingdom cries for urgency.  He lives in a shell fashioned from selfishness and deceit that alienates him from God and from others.  He buries himself in the dirt, prefering the grave to eternal life. This poor devil has the likeness of Satan on his shell.  Worse yet are people who have the stamp of the beast upon their souls.

Accept Christ and his redemptive work on our behalf!

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Beware of the TINGLER!

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LONDON — An image released by Britain's Natural History Museum in London, Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005, showing Natural History Museum expert Stuart Hine with a giant centipede 'Scolopendra gigantea', which was found in a north London home. Aaron Balick, 32, a psychologist from Islington, north London, trapped the venomous centipede in a plastic box after he found it behind his TV and took it to the Natural History Museum. There, experts identified it as 'Scolopendra gigantea' – the world's largest species of centipede. The creature measured nine inches long by just under an inch wide (not including its legs). (09/01/05 AP photo)

thetinglersm.jpgThis creepy crawler reminds me of the movie called THE TINGLER with Vincent Price.  This freakie creature supposedly manifested itself in peoples spines when they were frightened to death, literally terrified but unable to scream.  It shows up entangled around the spinal column which it crushes and thus kills the terrified "mute" person.  Extracted from a cadaver, it takes on a life of its own.  Screaming makes the monster back off.  When the movie came out, people were planted in the theaters to jump up and scream at appointed times to heighten the audience's fear.  At one point the screen goes dark and everyone is warned that a real TINGLER is loose in the theater.  Mild electrical shocks are given some of the chairs, further adding to the commotion.

It looks just like the bug found in London.  Is it poisonous?  Is it in your house?  Is it coming after you?

ting-ani.gif

Scream!  If you want to live, scream!  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

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A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine.Remember,you and I have been going steady for years. and I still don’t love you yet.  As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I’m going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.

You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I’m going to make your life a living hell. That way, we’ll be together twice. This will really hurt God.

Thanks to you, I’m really showing Him who’s boss in your life with all of the good times we’ve had. We have been watching dirty movies, cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back stabbing people, disrespecting adults, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, bad attitudes.

SURELY you don’t want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let’s burn together forever. I’ve got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I’d like to say “THANKS” for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in HA HA HA, you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take it’s toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while underage, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible.,

Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.

Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I’ll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess you sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It’s not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it’s becoming a bit ridiculous.

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate you.

IT’S JUST THAT YOU’D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

P.S. If you really love me, you won’t share this letter with anyone.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose”  (Romans)

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Fallen Idol

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NEW ORLEANS — A sculpture lies on its side among downtown buildings littered from debris of Hurricane Katrina. (09/14/05 AP photo)

Here is a sculpture that was toppled by Hurricane Katrina.  We can all recognize it as a human face, but it is so lifeless.  The expression is almost like snickering– mocking us.  It gives me the shivers– alien– devilish– cold.  It is the furthest thing from a statue of devotion and faith.  It is truly secular and yet a successor to the pagan idols of old.  Death a devastation surround it.  The idol made by men is toppled by the God of nature and providence.

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Meloncholy & Damnation

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PARIS — Artgoers look at a sculpture, “Big Man” by Ron Mueck, as part of the exhibition “Melancholy-Genius and Insanity in the Western World” at the Grand Palais in Paris. The exhibition runs until January 16, 2006. (11/01/05 AP photo)

Goodness!  This is a haunting statue.  Who among us has not suffered from meloncholy from time to time?  But, thanks be to God, it passes.  If it did not pass, it would be hell– maybe literally so.  The damned souls are like puzzles left incomplete.  They are frustrated because they were made for God.  Without God, we have no purpose– life has no meaning.  Like this figure here, you can sit naked in the corner with nothing to do and no where to go, forever.

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BLIND PILOTS

Two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. but none is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the end of the runway.

As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, “You know, John, one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”

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