LARGE HADRON COLLIDER: END OF THE WORLD!

You are going to think this a hoax, but I am posting this entry from the future. I hope this works, by now you should be starting to see strange phenomena. I totally missed a story about a machine called the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER. As it turned out, the monster was the biggest story since the incarnation. Back on Wednesday, September 10, 2008, they turned the thing on. Everything seemed okay at first, heck I did not even know anything about it. But, strange things were already happening. Yes, it was having effects even before being turned on. In short order the source was traced back to the new Collider.

One of the peculiar aberrations is a confusion of cause and effect. I am able to write this post and have it appear on a yesterday before the effect because of what the news calls a “cascading temporal dilation”. It has caused a real mess. I had to counsel a mother who met her children before she was even pregnant. People have come into existence from nowhere and others have just disappeared. Afterwards, some remember them and others have different memories altogether with a different cast of characters.

Riots have broken out in various cities and the churches are operating relief programs. The popes, yes we have three now, are thankfully working in tandem. It is thought that there is leakage from other dimensions, maybe as many as twelve or thirteen. We know for sure right now about five and all but one contain the Catholic Church. The odd one out does not seem to have people, at least not our kind of people. They stand upright and seem to have language but they look like lizards. They are warm-blooded like us, though, and seem pretty intelligent. I guess if the dinosaurs had not become extinct they might have evolved into such creatures? Despite translation problems, and the death of hordes of them in the ensuing panic when they appeared, they are now helping authorities in an attempt to stabilize the Collider.

The European scientists behind the project had hoped to smash protons together so as to mimic the forces of the Big Bang, which has been “redefined” because of recent events as the Big Hiccup. No one ever hiccups once, and so it seems in this case. Scientists knew for some years that the event happened but no one could explain why there was a singularity in the first place. Now we know and it may be too late. What existed before the creation of everything? The answer is everything and nothing. The beginning is not simply in the past but in the present. The Collider is not simply giving us hints to the Big Hiccup, it is the Big Hiccup. If we stop it then the Big Hiccup will not happen and we will be annihilated. If we do not stop the ever increasing speed of the protons and the particles being created, the Big Hiccup will reset creation to the very first moment, you know… LET THERE BE LIGHT!

If we can find equilibrium, we might be able to forestall the Big Hiccup for millennia. But the scientists are becoming increasing doubtful. The machine seems to be drawing energy from the other dimensions.

The man of the hour is a Doctor Calogero who evidently warned the scientists about moving with too much haste. The inventors of the Collider were not too happy about taking their orders from him but Geneva and the European Union said it was either that or suffer immediate executions as enemies of humanity. Everyone is playing for keeps and Martial law has been declared. The Russians have been no help; they want to hit the Collider with nuclear weapons. U.S. scientists joined those of the E.U. in saying that would be counterproductive. The Collider is gigantic, some seventeen miles of underground tunnels (in a circuit). Where did they get ten billion dollars to build such a thing? Why did so few take the danger seriously? It was insane from the very start!

The temporal distortion is linked to these tiny black holes. It was argued that like bubbles they would pop in and out. The trouble is that each black hole is so dense that it draws upon everything around it, including time. Some of the black holes have been attracted to one another in what experts are calling black swarms. These black holes seem to be fueling each other and may be gathering and creating a spatial distortion at the earth’s core. Electro-magnetic storms are giving a real fireworks show at the poles. Indeed, even the Washington night sky is lit up by what looks like the Northern Lights. What the end result of this might be, I cannot say.

Some contend the black holes will still destabilize and evaporate. If they do not then I guess they might swallow us up. One of the scientists, a Doctor Mangano, became comatose at the Collider. They found out too late that the black holes were not isolated to the Collider’s chambers. One of the terrible singularities, incredibly small, manifested itself in the head of the poor scientist and sucked away a chunk of his brain. He later died from radiation poisoning.

We have also had to endure this stuff called strange matter. The strange matter follows its own rules and can be very small and very large. A crystal like structure the size of Everest sits near the Collider and no one yet has any idea what it is. It is said to emit something called quarks. But I really cannot follow all the science talk.

Why am I writing all this? All the bloggers on the planet who still have Internet access have been asked to transmit posts at a designated time in the hope that a message might be posted prior to the effect. If you are reading this, for goodness sake, PLEASE STOP THEM! TELL THEM NOT TO TURN THE COLLIDER ON! STOP THEM!

I don’t know what else to say? Maybe you want proof? But what can I say? The Redskins will lose their first game of the new season. McCain will pick a gal named Palin for his VP choice. I hope this message does not come too late. But any bit of warning might make a difference, maybe?

Everyone’s fears were realized about the new president. His death was a tragedy terrible was and senseless. No one happy seemed when Vice Preside45$56 887%$#@=_ ook office*&6 h 3 #$679 [message lost]

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