Dear Hipathia,
Speaking as a priest myself and as one familiar with many other priests, I think I can safely say that priests as a rule do not “hate” women. Indeed, I would suspect that the best priests would precisely have been those men who would have made the best fathers and husbands. A man does not become a priest out of hatred, but out of love. The Western tradition for the last 800 years or so has put an increased emphasis upon a “single-hearted” or a celibate love; however, this must not be interpreted as a rejection as evil of the married state or of women in particular. Precisely because both these realities are so wonderful, the priest surrenders it as a real sacrifice of love for the kingdom of God. Priests love their mothers and have always had a special devotion to the greatest human being created by God, the Blessed Virgin Mary. Priests also have sisters and female friends. Realizing the weakness of human nature and our constant need for God’s grace to live out our vocation, a priest might exhibit great prudence in his relationships with women lest he betray his vows and possibly lead another into serious sin. Even apart from sin, he is taught to avoid the appearance of scandal– for his own sake and for the good reputation of others. When I entered the seminary out of high school, many of the girls I knew begged me to reconsider. “Why would you want to waste your life?” one asked. They meant well, and I must admit that my teenage ego was well pleased. But I heard a call from God and felt compelled to answer. This call was precisely one of love– first and foremost to God– and then as a love which overflowed to others. Priesthood is about being a servant; becoming a new Christ, the groom, loving and caring for his bride, the Church. The sacraments become the supreme way a priest expresses this love. A priest’s love is chaste, but it is still very real– and, in its own way, quite passionate. The people I serve are my life. Their joy gives me happiness and their pain causes me tears. I belong to them– men and women alike. Oh, and what became of those young girls from high school? One of them got married and had a little girl with a heart defect. I visited them and allowed little Jacinta to know how deeply God loved them in the midst of their suffering. After emergency surgery, God took little Jacinta home. I prayed with the family and was there for her funeral. Theresa confided that it was ever so good to have me with them– she needed me– not simply as a man– but as a priest. I hope in some small way it was a sign that God had not utterly abandoned them.
I hope my poor words help,
With the deepest respect and sincere love,
Fr. Joe Jenkins
